It's Not Our Fault You Make Us Crazy

My dear husband sent me a link to a text picture today.  I wonder if it was just supposed to be amusing or if he was trying to tell me something indirectly.

My conclusion:  He is trying to tell me that I over think things too much.

My advice to him and all other men out there:  If you just tell us you missed the 2 foot putt and can't figure out why, we might not act quite so crazy.  No guarantees though.




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And You Thought Writing Your Name in the Snow Was Fun...

Remember when you parents told you not to eat yellow snow?  Guys, do you remember writing your name in the snow when you had to pee?  Well, if you never lived in a place that snowed enough for you to enjoy this distinct pleasure, you may have the chance to play games while you pee sooner rather than later.  My question is, what does the female version look like?

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The Brothers Mario

All I have to say is I totally wanna see this movie!



 


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Twitter...The New Police Tool

Ok, so I knew that Twitter could be really super awesome if I ever had the time to spend on it.  Hell, all I have to do is follow @TheBloggess and I am guaranteed to know all the important events I need to be aware of like the recent Zombie Apocalypse #za  or when it is time to be #furiouslyhappy.  But apparently Twitter has outdone itself in Europe. 


http://thenextweb.com/uk/2010/10/14/police-force-tweets-emergency-calls-scores-twitter-hit/

For those of you who don't want to click the link (lazy asses):

A UK police force has scored a major hit today by tweeting every single 999 emergency call it receives over a 24-hour period.  Greater Manchester Police‘s move has seen an overwhelming response among UK Twitter users today as over one hundred tweets per hour are published, reporting everything from real emergencies like thefts and potential accidents to non-emergencies like Threatening messages on Facebook and a man asleep on a toilet in a theatre.

Why is the force doing this? As Inside the M60 reports today, GMP is currently faced with having to make budget cuts of up to £7 million. Chief Constable Peter Fahy has opted to use social media to show how much work the police has to deal with and how cuts stretch resources, saying a lot of police work “is not recognised in league tables and measurements – yet is a huge part of what we do.”

The tweets, spread out over three accounts in order to get around Twitter’s API limits on account usage (even on its own website), have captured the public’s imagination with two spoof accounts being set up. This one is arguably producing the most humorous results, which the other was reprimanded by the police for using their official crest logo. That said, sometimes real life is funnier than parody. See this example: “Call 384 report of man holding baby over bridge – police immediately attended and it was man carrying dog that doesn’t like bridges”.

Meanwhile, we hear that open data enthusiasts are already working on code to analyse data from the calls. It’s fair to say that social media agency Gabba has hit on something with this seemingly simple campaign. The public has got to see the sheer range of calls, some appropriate, some not, that the police has to deal with, generating lots of word-of-mouth discussion and media coverage. Whether it will have any lasting effect beyond public awareness of stretched police resources remains to be seen, but it’s still a bold move that’s paid off.

You can follow Greater Manchester Police’s tweets at their three accounts here, here and here or via the hashtag #gmp24 The ‘experiment’ ends at 5am on 15 October, British Summer Time.

Oh.  Hell.  Yes!


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"My diaper is full"

So the hubby and I are watching TV last night, live TV, which is unusual for us because I hate, hate, HATE watching commercials.  Why do I had commercials?  Become you inevitably come across ones like this that make you think...WHAT.  THE.  HELL?



Like....wow...."I poo in blue."  I feel sorry for the guy who had to read those lines.  But just in case you think they are totally cool and frequently let your child run around without pants, here is the official webpage for more information on these "limited edition" diapers.  Enjoy...I think...


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I had a miraculous egg to show you...and then my cat stole it.

So last night I decided to make a cake.  Isn't it pretty?

See, we are having company over tonight for dinner and I thought we should have something available for desert should someone so choose to have a sweet tooth.  As I am adding the eggs, an incredible thing happened.  The last egg cracked perfectly around the center line with no additional radiating cracks.  It. Was. Amazing.  I showed it to my husband who so gallantly pointed out to me that this is exactly the type of thing you blog about!  "If it is cool enough to show someone, then it is cool enough to blog about."  See, being new to blogging, I don't always catch these things so he helps me along. 

Anyway, so I put the two perfectly halved shells on a plate to the side so I could finish making the cake and then take a picture later.  One problem with that plan.  By the time I was ready to take the picture, half the shell was gone!!  Knowing the cat likes to steal cool stuff of mine (hair ties, paperclips, lids to bottles, my shoes), I determine she must be the culprit.  Upon questioning the suspect on the whereabouts of my stolen treasure, this is the reaction I got:

Just like her to try to play coy with me.  I figure if I find the evidence, then she can't deny the act because I could run DNA testing on the cat saliva I was bound to find on the stolen treasure.  So I enlisted the help of my gallant husband who them found the second part of my perfectly halved egg shell crushed...CRUSHED...under the shoe rack by the door.  My miracle...destroyed.  It was a dark time in my life.

Now I know what you might be thinking.  If my husband found the crushed shell, perhaps he planted it and crushed it himself.  I suppose if he was the malicious type that would be a rather fitting way of crushing my blogging dreams, but given the fact he is the one who suggested the blogging idea to begin with, I doubt he would do such a heinous act.  It is much more likely that the cat did this as part of her devious plan to rule the world.  Now to confront the accused with the evidence:

How Sad. 

And the other half is so perfect...so straight...like they both used to be. 

Not even a crack anywhere else.

How do you think the defense will plead?  My guess: Meow.

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We are the Borg. You will be assimilated.

Last night, this very nice young man came to our house.  I already forget his name, but it was something like Brad or Brian.  So he shows up with this huge, hard plastic suitcase thing.

"Miss Chin?" he asks when I answer the door.

"That's me."

"I am here to get you all set up for the night."

Here is where my mind starts doing all kinds of wandering.  Exactly what does this man have in mind for me?  And then my memory returns.  I had scheduled an appointment with this young man's company for tonight.  I guess I had told my husband this guy was coming because he didn't blink an eye when I was asked to change into my pajamas.  After I was changed and was all "set up" for the night, this is what I looked like:

I posted the picture on Facebook before creating this blog entry because I wanted to see what kind of messed up things my friends would think I was doing.  Boy did they come up with some interesting things.

Well, here is what is going on.  Last night I got to undergo a wonderful thing called a sleep study.  I know, I know.  It isn't nearly as exciting as becoming a cyborg or building a machine to tweet every time you fart, but the doc wanted it to rule out any sleep issues before he breaks my nose.  No, I wasn't a bad patient.  I just have a severely deviated septum which impairs my breathing and leads to chronic sinus infections.

What a sleep study pretty much amounts to, is being hooked up to 15 bajillion wires and monitors, having a camera faced at your bed, and a microphone in your room so they can measure your movements, brain activity, and hear any talking you might do in your sleep.  Basically, it resulted in an absolutely horrible night's sleep.  The next morning, they tell you congratulations!  You have completed the sleep study!  Have fun trying to function on 3 hours of sleep...crappy sleep at that. 


Oh yea, here is what they did to my head. 

What is that white stuff in my hair holding the electrode sensors to my head?  Yea, that's a type of medical cement.  Cement ya'll!  Oh, but don't worry, it rinses right out with water so when you shower, it will be gone in no time!  That is, if you count 20 minutes of washing and rewashing your hair as "no time."  I think I still have some of that gunk attached to my scalp.  Made me feel like Batty from "Ferngully:"

Note the wires coming from his head.  If you haven't seen the movie, here is his "Batty Rap" for you.



Resistance is Futile.

Seize the Weeny!

Ok, how many of you actually remember the names of all the games you played as a child?  How many of you made up games as a child?  How many of those games were slightly inappropriate?  Methinks The Bloggess is on to something in her most recent post...or on something...one or the other.  As always though, her commentors make the situation just that much more hilarious.

Seriously though, who actually played a game called "Steal the Bacon" as a child?  As I child, I would have interpreted that as stealing my mom's ATM card.  It was bad enough when she responded to our request for money one day with "Do I look like an ATM?" and we poked her five times and put out our hand for cash.  She definitely would have lost it had we truly decided to "steal the bacon."

So don't let conformists hold you back Jenny!  I think your final answer is totally on track and iHop needs to make their children's menus more age appropriate.  Seize the weeny, Jenny.  SEIZE THE WEENY!