Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Learning Who My *Real* Friends Are

Ever thought you knew someone, and then one day you find out they totally aren't who you thought they were?  Ever thought you could count on someone and then when you really needed them, they weren't there?  That was my night last night.  I needed a friend, and I chose to take a chance and call on someone and they weren't there.  Then when they finally showed up, well, lets just say I was disappointed.  A very dear friend is dying and I get to hear about how parts of my life are screwed up.  Yea.  Helpful.  Oh if they only knew all the shit I did for them and the crap I went through. 

Today, I have a migraine, so I went back to bed to take a little nap and I am woken up by a text message from this same person essentially saying I screwed up somehow and I am now written out of their life forever.  Do you think they tell me what it was I did?  No.  Do you think they give me a chance to refute whatever accusation is going on here?  No.  Do you think they respond when I ask what the hell I did this time?  No.

Well guess what.  I don't give a damn anymore.  I do not have the mental or emotional energy to deal with this kind of childish bull shit anymore.  I have more important things in my life to deal with.  I have a husband who was laid off and is looking for a new job.  I have school that is kicking my ass because I am taking double classes right now.  I am having sinus surgery in a week.  I have rheumatoid arthritis that I have to manage without one of my medications because of that surgery.  I have a dear family friend, someone who is family despite the lack of blood relation, who I have known since I was 8, who is dying of lung cancer and may be leaving this world any day now.  I have a best friend who I fear is on the verge of collapse because of all the shit she has going on in her life.  I have my own insecurities and esteem issues to deal with.  So you wanna write me off without telling me what I did?  Fine.  Good riddance.  Have a nice life, cause I don't give a good God damn anymore.