Saturday, April 12, 2014

Taking a Moment to Feel

This last week has been rough on me and my body.  Selling a house as fast as possible requires a lot of work.  Every day this week, I have woken up and hit the ground running.  The amount of stuff we accomplished this week feels unbelievable, but we did it.  The house is sparkling, bright, and open.  It went on the market yesterday.  And after a week of moving furniture, packing boxes, pulling weeds, fixing a few things around the house, painting, tutoring/working, and telling all my students and their families that I am moving, I am absolutely exhausted.

Physically, everything hurts and is sore.  I have bruises all over and my joints ache.  The funny part though is that it feels good.  It feels good that my body is well enough to accomplish all those tasks.  It feels good to know I have the resources and capacity to pull off the seemingly impossible feat.  But that feeling becomes bittersweet when I think about how much I love this house.  It is sad to think that we won't be here for much longer.  We had always intended on going back to Tucson, and I am excited for the new adventure, but we had planned to raise our future children in this house.  The picture was so clear, but the scenery now has to change.

So tonight, I am taking a moment to feel.  To feel the excitement and the loss, the joy and the sadness, the relief and the frustration, and all the other emotions that come with a major life course alteration.  Tonight, I am taking a moment to reflect on me.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Rolling With the Punches

Oh my goodness!  The last two weeks have been so very rough on us.  So this is my post to catch everyone up on what the deal is.

2 weeks ago, my husband went into work to find out that the company had lost their funding suddenly and had to close its doors...immediately.  The unexpected layoff left everyone in shock.  There was panic, fear, tears, sadness, and mourning over the loss of such a wonderful company.  The following days involved D and I going through all of our options and weighing each one carefully, but one thing was certain - we could not afford our house without D working.  We had a HUGE budget deficit and we needed to stop the bleeding as fast as possible.  Luckily, we are blessed to have a ton of options and enough savings to get us through a couple months.

And here is the decision.  We are moving back to Tucson.  Tucson is hurting for math and science teachers so the job market is ripe for me to gain quick employment, something that I have been unable to do here in San Diego.  In addition, the cost of living there is low enough that we can afford it on my salary alone.  That isn't even taking into account how much healthier I am there!

Although we are confident in our decision, there are several things making this move a challenge.  First, there is the sadness in telling my students and their families that we are moving and I will no longer be able to work with them.  These kids are amazing and I will miss them dearly.  Then there is my sinus surgery coming up next week.  Ever tried selling a house while recovering from surgery?  Yea.  That should be interesting.  Then, there is moving away from family who is just getting used to having me close by - aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins.  Finally, there is trying to coordinate interviews when you don't even live in your destination city yet.  Well, if nothing else, we are keeping life interesting!

As Rodney Atkins tells us, "If you're going through hell, keep on going.  Don't slow down, if you're scared don't show it.  You might get out before the devil even knows you're there."