Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Maybe I have been reading too many of these child development books

So last night the hubby had game night with the guys after work.  What is this you ask?  Well first, keep in might that D works for Sony Online Entertainment.  Yes, he makes computer games for a living.  This also means that he works with a bunch of other gamers.  Computer nerds unite!!!  Oh how I wish I could work there too.  LOL.

Anyway, they had decided that after work last night, they would play a Magic tournament.  That is all fine and dandy with me.  They also sometimes stay after to play other games too.  Card games, LAN parties, yea, they are gamers.  Totally sweetheart gamers too.

So yesterday I was thinking I would do something sweet and make D the crabcakes he has been craving and bring them to him for dinner along with cookies or something for the other guys.  Went to the store, got all the stuff, got home, then promptly got sucked into the internet and TV.  Next thing I know it's 5:30pm and I haven't even started yet.  Well, I thought if nothing else, I could throw together the crab cakes for him real quick and bring at least those anyway, cause you know, I love my man and all.

So I message him explaining how I planned to feed him and how time got away from me and I ask would you still like me to make them for you and bring them?  His response: "I brought dinner so I'm fine.  Make them tomorrow."  Ok, he obviously didn't understand the meaning and the feeling behind what I was planning on doing for him, but that's ok because he is a guy and I am not going to argue with him while he is at work.  Instead, I decide to try to forget it, feed myself, and find something distracting to do until he is ready to be picked up after the game.

Apparently the distracting thing didn't work so well because this is how the conversation went on the way home:

Me: Did you have fun?

D: Yep.

Me: Did you have enough to eat for dinner?

D: Yep.

Me: Sorry I didn't have the crabcakes ready for you.

D:  That's ok.  I told you I brought food anyway.  We can have them tomorrow.

Me:  You don't understand.

D:  Ummm...apparently not.

Me:  Don't you know that all I wanted was to feel included, needed, and like I belonged?

D:  ...

Me:  Hmm...That sounds like something from the positive discipline book I just finished reading for school.

D:  ... (yes my husband is a man of few words.  it's frustrating sometimes)

Me:  Anyway, I just kinda thought I would be all awesome-like and walk in with crabcakes for you and cookies for the guys and everyone would think how you have such an awesome wife and I could have significance and belonging for a little bit.

D:  *chuckles*

Me: What?!  Is it wrong for me to want to feel included?

D: No.

Me: ...

D: ...

Me:  Well, maybe you actually did me a favor.

D:  Oh?

Me:  Yea, cause I have never made crab cakes before, so you were actually protecting me!

D:  Uh huh?

Me:  Well, how embarrassing for me would that be had I come in, dropped off what seemed like delicious treats, and then you bit into a crab cake just to spit it out because it tasted awful!  See, you were protecting me.  You are so good to me honey.  I love you.  *big grin*

D:  I love you too.

Why do I feel like I need to feed people to feel accepted?  I think I need therapy.