Friday, September 10, 2010

Nothing's right. I'm torn.

A couple weeks ago, I got great news.  Someone who has traveled the TTC path with me found out she was pregnant.  She had been pregnant before, but sadly it ended in miscarriage, so I was very excited to hear when she got pregnant again.  With the wonderful news though, there is always the worry that "it" will happen again.  Yesterday, I found "it" did.  It broke my heart to read the message.  Tears came to my eyes and I wished with all my might I could be there to hug her and reassure her that she would get through this. 

See, I love this group of TTC girls like they were my own sisters because we all get it.  Simply put, infertility sucks.  Miscarriages suck.  Having to take drugs and hormones to try to get pregnant and then have it not work sucks.  Yet, after the initial sadness of her heart-breaking news, I found myself thinking about my situation and I pondered a single question...

Would I rather go through the pain of never being able to conceive in the first place, or would I rather go through the joy of even just a few days with a life inside me, only to lose it a short time later?

My conclusion - they both suck giant monkey balls.