Friday, December 3, 2010

Just Cruisin' Under the Surface

When I first started this blog, I had intended to share all the funny and amusing things that I come across in my life as well as promote the understanding of bipolar disorder.  The strange part is that I never seem to remember I have a blog at those points in time.  Instead, I post about being thankful for the wonderful things in life, regular events, and my various feelings and moods.  In a way, this blog has become more of a personal journal than the amusement I had planning.  Is this such a bad thing?  I don't think so.  See, this is still serving my original purpose.  I have bipolar disorder and I want to promote understanding of it.  By posting here, you get a very small glimpse into the thought processes of this bipolar mind.  Don't you feel special? 

The challenge now is spreading understanding of what is going on with me to those I interact with every day in my life.  Many of the people I spend time with here in Tucson met me when I was in a bit of a mania.  They are used to the fun, smiley, energetic, flirty, party girl.  We would go out to the bar and drink and dance and have a good old time or play poker or any number of other things.  Now I am hanging out in the slightly depressed area.  Not badly depressed, just a little bit -- like a 2 or 3 out of 10 (with 10 as the worst) -- just enough to make it so I don't want to go out and when I do, that I don't get quite as much enjoyment out of things that I normally would.  But that is the bipolar roller coaster ride and they will have to learn to love both parts of me...that is if I can take off the mask of everything is fine and stop making excuses for why I can't do something...

*hint: I'm really not as busy as I make myself out to be...

So, can you love both parts of me?