Cameras. I have a love/hate relationship with them. Cameras are a great invention that helps us capture precious moments and save memories, but since the advent of phone cameras, they have taken a sad turn. Cameras have become so prevalent that people often miss "the moment." Now, people are using their cameras (phone or otherwise) to take a picture of everything. No matter what is going on, someone just HAS to take a "selfie." People are so busy taking pictures that they have put a barrier between themselves and actually feeling what is going on around them. They are no longer living in the moment and being a part of it, but recording it without any emotional attachment to it.
What is the point of recording it if it will not touch you deeply when you later reflect on it. Better yet, if you take so many pictures, will you even look at those pictures again? I know some people who have literally tens of thousands of pictures. Will you even take the time to reflect on those experiences you so meticulously recorded? Will you even remember what was happening around you when you look that picture?
I am not saying that cameras should be done away with. I believe cameras can be a very valuable tool. Instead, use discretion. If you travel with me or check something new out with me, you will rarely see me take pictures. I am picky about when I take a photo. Instead of being trapped behind a screen, I want to feel, see, hear, touch, and be one with what is going on around me. I want to be fully invested in the experience rather than worrying about tool. I don't want to miss a thing. I want to feel the energy of my surroundings pulse through me and let awe overtake me. These experiences are then burned into my memory. Only if I find something particularly fascinating will I take a photo. For me to take a photo is to memorialize an experience. It only takes one photo to bring a flood of memories and feelings back to me, allowing me to bask in the feelings and experiences once again. I don't need to record every second and my life is fuller because of it.
Do you have a camera addiction? I challenge you to become more selective with your pictures and let yourself live in the moment, rather than recording it.
Bipolar Musings of my life, humor, health, family, friends, and beliefs.
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Saturday, July 11, 2015
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Oh the Places You'll Go!
Clearly I am not very good at keeping up with this blogging thing, but for those who still read, thank you! And since you have been so dedicated, you get to see some amazing things coming up!
When we are kids, we often have big dreams and visions. We imagine going to space, starting our own business, swimming with dolphins, curing cancer, being a rodeo clown, building something from scratch, and so much more. Somewhere along the "growing up" cycle, we lose a lot of these dreams and visions. We forget how to imagine the seemingly impossible. So many fantastic ideas perish at the hand of adulthood, but it doesn't have to be that way.
Obviously one of my biggest projects is starting my own school. I envision a small school that serves the needs of all its students. Curriculum slows down or speeds up according to the student's skills and development. Concepts are taught in a variety of ways to make the information accessible to all. Life skills are incorporated throughout the skill career so that students learn to teach themselves and develop the skills needed to work through life after the "teacher" is gone. All of this is wrapped up with real-world incorporation from business professionals who partner with the school to provide knowledge, experience, internships, observations, scenarios, and vision for the future. Some of the largest strides in society have come from our youngest people. The goal is to have my school open and accepting students by the summer, and already the interest is high!
As if creating this utopia of a school isn't enough, we have also been fumbling our way through the adoption process. False starts and changes in course have altered our plans many times, but it feels like we are finally on the right track now. It has been emotionally and financially taxing, but the experience is and will be worth it. As we continue with the adoption process though, we have also found another option. Our insurance covers infertility! We will be beginning our conception journey at the same time as our adoption journey. All of this comes together right after my sinus surgery in mid-April.
I know. It sounds like a lot to accomplish in just a few months. It also sounds like I am going to overwhelm myself when it is all written out, but here is the amazing part: For the first time in my life, I feel like everything is exactly how it needs to be for success and I feel very little stress over the whole process. I have faith in myself and in my spirituality. I know that faith will carry me through to fulfillment of my dreams. I know it may not be pretty, but everything will get done exactly as it needs to. I can see it all so clearly that it already exists. These dreams, goals, visions, or whatever you want to call them, they are me. It feels like I found a huge piece of me that I didn't even know was lost. I feel these are my missing puzzle pieces that I have found.
Now watch me as I finish the picture...
When we are kids, we often have big dreams and visions. We imagine going to space, starting our own business, swimming with dolphins, curing cancer, being a rodeo clown, building something from scratch, and so much more. Somewhere along the "growing up" cycle, we lose a lot of these dreams and visions. We forget how to imagine the seemingly impossible. So many fantastic ideas perish at the hand of adulthood, but it doesn't have to be that way.
Obviously one of my biggest projects is starting my own school. I envision a small school that serves the needs of all its students. Curriculum slows down or speeds up according to the student's skills and development. Concepts are taught in a variety of ways to make the information accessible to all. Life skills are incorporated throughout the skill career so that students learn to teach themselves and develop the skills needed to work through life after the "teacher" is gone. All of this is wrapped up with real-world incorporation from business professionals who partner with the school to provide knowledge, experience, internships, observations, scenarios, and vision for the future. Some of the largest strides in society have come from our youngest people. The goal is to have my school open and accepting students by the summer, and already the interest is high!
As if creating this utopia of a school isn't enough, we have also been fumbling our way through the adoption process. False starts and changes in course have altered our plans many times, but it feels like we are finally on the right track now. It has been emotionally and financially taxing, but the experience is and will be worth it. As we continue with the adoption process though, we have also found another option. Our insurance covers infertility! We will be beginning our conception journey at the same time as our adoption journey. All of this comes together right after my sinus surgery in mid-April.
I know. It sounds like a lot to accomplish in just a few months. It also sounds like I am going to overwhelm myself when it is all written out, but here is the amazing part: For the first time in my life, I feel like everything is exactly how it needs to be for success and I feel very little stress over the whole process. I have faith in myself and in my spirituality. I know that faith will carry me through to fulfillment of my dreams. I know it may not be pretty, but everything will get done exactly as it needs to. I can see it all so clearly that it already exists. These dreams, goals, visions, or whatever you want to call them, they are me. It feels like I found a huge piece of me that I didn't even know was lost. I feel these are my missing puzzle pieces that I have found.
Now watch me as I finish the picture...
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Dream Big
I've got big dreams. Huge even. They are so big that sometimes I actually fear their success. But this is a demon I am learning to tame. I am learning to stop focusing on the bad things that *could* happen, and instead, focus on what I want to happen.
See, my dad is always giving me and my hubby stuff that he thinks will help us in some way or another. Books on healthy eating, advice from Dr. Oz, financial articles to read, etc. This time, he gave me a book. In the past, I would have conveniently not found time to read it. But this time, I figured why not. My dad is trying to help me and pass knowledge to me. I should honor him by checking it out. What I found was an incredibly inspiring story, captivating words, and focus.
The brain is a powerful thing. What we focus our thoughts on influences what happens in our future. We may think about what we don't want to happen, but that only puts that at the front of our mind so it is all we find. This goes back to the saying "Don't think about a red hammer." And what were you just thinking about? A red hammer. Instead, focus on what you want.
This is when my dreams started looking achievable. I am learning to build focus on what I want my life to look like. When I picture my life now, I zoom in on the details while maintaining view of my life as a whole. I can see part of my business incredibly clear now. I can picture exactly what I am doing in that moment in time and really feel my emotions of the time. Joy. Contentment. Love. As I wind down for the night and settle into bed, I picture what I want the next day to look like as if it is a guarantee that it will happen. It may be coincidence, but it has been pretty darn accurate. Even when the day did not go as well as I had desired, when I honestly reflected, I realized I spent too much of the previous night worrying instead of focusing on what I want to happen. Thoughts have power. In the words of Henry Ford, "Whether you think you can or can't, you're right."
What are your dreams? What do you want your future to look like? Are you focusing on that future or on everything that could prevent that future from happening?
*If you are interested in reading the book I am currently reading, it is called "The Answer" by John Assaraf and Murray Smith.
See, my dad is always giving me and my hubby stuff that he thinks will help us in some way or another. Books on healthy eating, advice from Dr. Oz, financial articles to read, etc. This time, he gave me a book. In the past, I would have conveniently not found time to read it. But this time, I figured why not. My dad is trying to help me and pass knowledge to me. I should honor him by checking it out. What I found was an incredibly inspiring story, captivating words, and focus.
The brain is a powerful thing. What we focus our thoughts on influences what happens in our future. We may think about what we don't want to happen, but that only puts that at the front of our mind so it is all we find. This goes back to the saying "Don't think about a red hammer." And what were you just thinking about? A red hammer. Instead, focus on what you want.
This is when my dreams started looking achievable. I am learning to build focus on what I want my life to look like. When I picture my life now, I zoom in on the details while maintaining view of my life as a whole. I can see part of my business incredibly clear now. I can picture exactly what I am doing in that moment in time and really feel my emotions of the time. Joy. Contentment. Love. As I wind down for the night and settle into bed, I picture what I want the next day to look like as if it is a guarantee that it will happen. It may be coincidence, but it has been pretty darn accurate. Even when the day did not go as well as I had desired, when I honestly reflected, I realized I spent too much of the previous night worrying instead of focusing on what I want to happen. Thoughts have power. In the words of Henry Ford, "Whether you think you can or can't, you're right."
What are your dreams? What do you want your future to look like? Are you focusing on that future or on everything that could prevent that future from happening?
*If you are interested in reading the book I am currently reading, it is called "The Answer" by John Assaraf and Murray Smith.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Where Have You Been Alicia?!?!
As you noticed, I haven't been around for quite a while. I had all these wonderful plans and ideas for blogging and then school took over my life. Then there was the multiple moves for the hubby's job and loads of other craziness. To say the least, this has been a tough, but interesting and amazing year. To those of you who have hung in there during my absence of postings, thank you!
Now, here is the reward for my dedication and hard work. Enjoy!
Now, here is the reward for my dedication and hard work. Enjoy!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
What are you thankful for?
What was your first thought getting out of bed this morning? Was it something like "Ugh, time to get the kids ready for school." or was it something like "Awesome! I woke up to another day! Let's see what fun it brings?"
After a conversation with my mom last night, I got to wondering how many of us wallow in the mundane or bad things in our life. I know I used to only see the bad. When you have as many medical issues as I do, with more coming up every day, sometimes it can be hard to see past the pain, discomfort, and disability. Every day I would wake up thinking how much it sucked that I had to go to work that day, or how horrible my body ached from my RA. Before my husband, I might think how much I wanted and deserved to have a good guy laying in bed next to me every morning. Waking up alone sucked. And when the bipolar gripped me in a major depression, I would curse that fact that I even woke up at all.
But then a few wonderful things happened to me. I met my husband. He lit up my world. The problems didn't go away, in fact some of them got worse, but he always made me laugh no matter how bad I hurt (mentally and physically). The negative mornings became fewer, but even then I still had days where I would wake up looking at only the bad things, though it happened less often.
Then another person came into my life. Or rather, became a part of my life since I had already been working with her for several years. We became close friends when her husband ended up in ICU and was in the hospital for months. She changed my perspective as I watched her always have hope while her husband teetered on the edge of life and death. No matter how scared or frightened she was, she always had hope. And then there was the joy and love when he finally got to go home. Going through that experience with her, being there for her and with her, changed me. It taught me to value life more. It taught me to value every day, every moment I have on this earth because it could all come to an end unexpectedly.
Now when I wake up in the morning, it is rarely with disappointment or a negative thought. I am by no means perfect and do still have my cranky mornings, but they are now few and far between and usually only when severe physical pain is involved.
This morning my first thought as I felt my arm throbbing in pain was "I am so lucky that I have a husband and roommate that are supporting me through this painful time." They help me accomplish the daily tasks and chores that need to be done and they make me laugh. This morning, I was truly grateful to be alive.
So tell me, what are you thankful for today?
.
After a conversation with my mom last night, I got to wondering how many of us wallow in the mundane or bad things in our life. I know I used to only see the bad. When you have as many medical issues as I do, with more coming up every day, sometimes it can be hard to see past the pain, discomfort, and disability. Every day I would wake up thinking how much it sucked that I had to go to work that day, or how horrible my body ached from my RA. Before my husband, I might think how much I wanted and deserved to have a good guy laying in bed next to me every morning. Waking up alone sucked. And when the bipolar gripped me in a major depression, I would curse that fact that I even woke up at all.
But then a few wonderful things happened to me. I met my husband. He lit up my world. The problems didn't go away, in fact some of them got worse, but he always made me laugh no matter how bad I hurt (mentally and physically). The negative mornings became fewer, but even then I still had days where I would wake up looking at only the bad things, though it happened less often.
Then another person came into my life. Or rather, became a part of my life since I had already been working with her for several years. We became close friends when her husband ended up in ICU and was in the hospital for months. She changed my perspective as I watched her always have hope while her husband teetered on the edge of life and death. No matter how scared or frightened she was, she always had hope. And then there was the joy and love when he finally got to go home. Going through that experience with her, being there for her and with her, changed me. It taught me to value life more. It taught me to value every day, every moment I have on this earth because it could all come to an end unexpectedly.
Now when I wake up in the morning, it is rarely with disappointment or a negative thought. I am by no means perfect and do still have my cranky mornings, but they are now few and far between and usually only when severe physical pain is involved.
This morning my first thought as I felt my arm throbbing in pain was "I am so lucky that I have a husband and roommate that are supporting me through this painful time." They help me accomplish the daily tasks and chores that need to be done and they make me laugh. This morning, I was truly grateful to be alive.
So tell me, what are you thankful for today?
.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Learning to Accept Help
In November, I was just starting to get into the blog-o-shere. I stepped into the shallow end of the pool by reading just one blog, who still remains my favorite, The Bloggess. I know I talk about her all the time, but I immediately fell in love because she shared my sarcastic, witty, and sometimes demented sense of humor. It wasn't long before she had me reading all her blogs, including her advice column and satirical sex blog. Every now and then, my beloved Jenny posts something serious though, and that is how I was introduced to a beautiful family who had gone through so much misfortune, the Mayhews.
She may not know it, but Anissa and her husband, Peter, have somewhat become idols for me. For me, it started on their Hope For Peyton blog that turned into a quasi "Hope for Anissa" blog when she had two massive strokes in November. Jenny had posted the event on her blog and I have been following the Mayhews ever since. Their strength and love as a family gripped me, and though I never comment much, I love hearing their story because it gives me hope when I am in the pits of mine. It is because of Peter that I decided to start my own blog. He needed somewhere he could put his thoughts down and reach out to people as he waited for news on Anissa. I needed a place to put my thoughts down as I wait for bouts of depression, anxiety, and rheumatoid arthritis to pass. His words inspired me in the beginning, and now his wife inspires me today.
As I sit here, unable to use my right arm due to extreme pain from RA and feeling useless and handicapped, I pull up Anissa's Blog and I think, if this amazing woman can come back from two major strokes that should have killed her (according to doctors), and still get up every day for the last 4 months to take care of her three beautiful kids and keep pushing every day to get better, then who the hell am I to sit here and feel sorry for myself because I have been down and non-functional for a whole 3 freaking days.
But this is the worst flareup I have ever had and I thought I knew some of Anissa's frustration from my past health issues. Not exactly, but I thought I could understand some of it. Boy was I wrong. The pain of the last 3 days have brought on a whole new meaning for me of handicapped and useless. As I have had to ask my husband to open the milk for me, refill my water bottle, wash my hair, or turn a doorknob because I couldn't grasp it, a new meaning formed. As I lost use of my right arm because any movement at all, even typing, cause too much pain, a new meaning formed. As I spend hours typing with one hand, and then lay completely still in bed watching reruns because it's the only thing I can do where I am semi-comfortable, a new meaning formed. As I burst into tears because I was stupid enough to try reaching behind me to unclasp my own bra, a new meaning formed. And with this new, deeper meaning of what it is feel handicapped and useless, I bet I still don't even scratch the surface of what so many others go through.
So I will stop feeling sorry for myself, but I will accept my limitations right now. I can never heal if I don't give my body the break it wants/needs. I will ask for help unclasping my bra, turning on the shower, washing my hair, and making breakfast. I will ask for help picking up the laptop so I can write my next blog one-handed or surf Facebook. But what I most recently learned from Anissa, I will ask for comfort when the reality of the situation overwhelms me and I feel like my world is crashing down. I will reach out to my friends and family and ask for that gentle hug and "poor baby" to get me through the next minute, hour, or day. Because sometimes, comfort is the most important help you need.
.
She may not know it, but Anissa and her husband, Peter, have somewhat become idols for me. For me, it started on their Hope For Peyton blog that turned into a quasi "Hope for Anissa" blog when she had two massive strokes in November. Jenny had posted the event on her blog and I have been following the Mayhews ever since. Their strength and love as a family gripped me, and though I never comment much, I love hearing their story because it gives me hope when I am in the pits of mine. It is because of Peter that I decided to start my own blog. He needed somewhere he could put his thoughts down and reach out to people as he waited for news on Anissa. I needed a place to put my thoughts down as I wait for bouts of depression, anxiety, and rheumatoid arthritis to pass. His words inspired me in the beginning, and now his wife inspires me today.
As I sit here, unable to use my right arm due to extreme pain from RA and feeling useless and handicapped, I pull up Anissa's Blog and I think, if this amazing woman can come back from two major strokes that should have killed her (according to doctors), and still get up every day for the last 4 months to take care of her three beautiful kids and keep pushing every day to get better, then who the hell am I to sit here and feel sorry for myself because I have been down and non-functional for a whole 3 freaking days.
But this is the worst flareup I have ever had and I thought I knew some of Anissa's frustration from my past health issues. Not exactly, but I thought I could understand some of it. Boy was I wrong. The pain of the last 3 days have brought on a whole new meaning for me of handicapped and useless. As I have had to ask my husband to open the milk for me, refill my water bottle, wash my hair, or turn a doorknob because I couldn't grasp it, a new meaning formed. As I lost use of my right arm because any movement at all, even typing, cause too much pain, a new meaning formed. As I spend hours typing with one hand, and then lay completely still in bed watching reruns because it's the only thing I can do where I am semi-comfortable, a new meaning formed. As I burst into tears because I was stupid enough to try reaching behind me to unclasp my own bra, a new meaning formed. And with this new, deeper meaning of what it is feel handicapped and useless, I bet I still don't even scratch the surface of what so many others go through.
So I will stop feeling sorry for myself, but I will accept my limitations right now. I can never heal if I don't give my body the break it wants/needs. I will ask for help unclasping my bra, turning on the shower, washing my hair, and making breakfast. I will ask for help picking up the laptop so I can write my next blog one-handed or surf Facebook. But what I most recently learned from Anissa, I will ask for comfort when the reality of the situation overwhelms me and I feel like my world is crashing down. I will reach out to my friends and family and ask for that gentle hug and "poor baby" to get me through the next minute, hour, or day. Because sometimes, comfort is the most important help you need.
.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
You are worth it.
I read a blog post today that really spoke to me. It was a post that made me question some of the things I think about myself, and then it made me wonder how others feel about themselves. It was a post that made me shed a few tears and made me long for something beautiful, fluffy, sparkly, and RED! It was a post by my Favorite. Blogger. Ever. I highly encourage you to read the most recent post by The Bloggess too.
You see, I deal with bouts of depression on a fairly regular basis. She and her red dress got me thinking about all the times in my life where I thought how I was just a waste of space and time. Why would anyone want to deal with me? I am nothing. At least that is what this disease tells me. Lies. It is all lies. But then I started thinking about all the other people in the world who don't have someone to remind them that these thoughts are lies. Whether they are planted by mental illness, abuse, or anything else, they are all lies. Every person has a purpose. Every person has at least one person who loves them. If you were to disappear one day, someone would miss you, and you might not even realize who that person is. It could be the neighbor across the street that misses you because you smile at her every day when you pick up the newspaper. It could be the barista at the coffee shop because he knows, without a doubt, that at the very least, you will make him laugh today.
So you see, no matter where your thoughts lead you, just think of this beautiful, fluffy, sparkly, red dress and remember...you are worth it too.
As for me, well, I would die to wear that dress, but alas, I am way too shy to even consider going to Blogher so instead, I just might buy a sparkly red dress of my own...because I am worth it too.
.
You see, I deal with bouts of depression on a fairly regular basis. She and her red dress got me thinking about all the times in my life where I thought how I was just a waste of space and time. Why would anyone want to deal with me? I am nothing. At least that is what this disease tells me. Lies. It is all lies. But then I started thinking about all the other people in the world who don't have someone to remind them that these thoughts are lies. Whether they are planted by mental illness, abuse, or anything else, they are all lies. Every person has a purpose. Every person has at least one person who loves them. If you were to disappear one day, someone would miss you, and you might not even realize who that person is. It could be the neighbor across the street that misses you because you smile at her every day when you pick up the newspaper. It could be the barista at the coffee shop because he knows, without a doubt, that at the very least, you will make him laugh today.
So you see, no matter where your thoughts lead you, just think of this beautiful, fluffy, sparkly, red dress and remember...you are worth it too.
As for me, well, I would die to wear that dress, but alas, I am way too shy to even consider going to Blogher so instead, I just might buy a sparkly red dress of my own...because I am worth it too.
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